Who’s watching the State of the Union tonight?

Not me! I’d rather pull my own teeth out, one at a time.

As someone with a raging hangover right now…let me just say that coated aspirin is the worst! ICK.

Ge me to a Duane Reade STAT! I need to get more drugs.

How to ensure you feel like hell on a Monday morning

Step 1. Arrive at the bar 15 minutes before they are even open to reserve seats for the days festivities.

Step 2. Beer #1 at 12:55pm. at least 9 hours to go.

Step 3. Drink heavily all day while watching the playoff games! Excellent.

Step 4. During Game #2 use your deck of cards (packed with much foresight to entertain the non sporting friends) to invent drinking games.

All counts to throw cards (1, 2, 3) must be made in alternating languages: English, French, Spanish or Thai are ok.

game 1: Queen of the Night.

Drink on every 3, 6, 9. If more than one 3, 6, or 9 is laid down you must drink that many times.
Whoever throws the queen is queen of the night and must finish off the signature pink drink made by Mike the Bartender in honor of the game.

Game 2: Nobody puts Baby in a Corner (this is where it gets hazy)

Drink on every 2, 4, 6, 8. Same rule applies for multiples as above. All face cards are “Nobody puts Baby in a corner cards” and the signature drink for that game must be finished off. Thanks again Mike!

Step 5. Nachos

Step 6. Stumble out of the bar after approx 10 hours of heavy drinking go home and go to sleep.

Step 7. Wake at 4:20am (hah!) Water, Aspirin, Repeat.

Step 8. Wake at 7:40am to get ready for work. Water, Aspirin, Repeat. Find that you have no heat or hot water in your apartment.

EXCELLENT

What are your big plans this weekend?

Tomorrow I get to hang out with my freshman year roommate who’s having a baby in like 12 minutes. EEK. For some reason that frightens me more than it should.

Sunday is the big day o sports. We’ve got the Syracuse basketball game followed by the NFL Playoffs. The day will be spent at the fav bar PT’s. Due to some odd twist of fate, I find myself not cheering for the Broncos in the playoffs. Instead, after my journey to Chi-town and a trip to Solider Field, I find myself in league with the Bears. Let’s hope Rex Grossman doesn’t shit the bed this week.

After all, they don’t call him Rextasy for nothin’!

Who do you think I would have to marry to join in the fun?

I love it

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Britney Spears no longer wants him as her husband and audiences have been cool to his attempt at a rap music career, but Kevin Federline has Nationwide on his side.

Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co., known for its “On Your Side” slogan, plans to run a national ad during the Super Bowl, and K-Fed has been tapped to star, the Columbus-based company announced Wednesday.

The 30-second spot, to air during the third quarter of the Feb. 4 game, will be the latest installment in Nationwide’s “Life Comes at You Fast” ad campaign. Previous celebrity ads in the series have featured Fabio and M.C. Hammer.

In the new commercial, Federline, 28, goes from starring in a rap video surrounded by beauties and bling to working at a fast-food joint.

“No one has personified ‘Life Comes at You Fast’ in the media better than Federline,” said Steven Schreibman, Nationwide vice president of advertising and brand management. “Our partnership with Kevin shows the world that he has a great sense of humor.”

The reason I love this so much? Brit’s peeps approached the NFL for her to star in some of their ads and the NFL declined as she’s too much of a “trainwreck.” Now she’s supposedly preggers with baby #3 and the father could be one of any number of guys. Please let it be Matt Leinert, pretty pretty please!

RIP Benny Parsons

Chi-Town

Chicago 24- Seattle 21 in OT

Ahh the midwest and Bears fans. I now have a $60 fuzzy fleece Bears blanket b/c it was so freaking cold!

Section 243, under the heat lamps baby

A gagillion Miller Lites and Bratwurst (with a Vicodin in there for added measure, don’t ask)

A sea of Orange and Blue, broken up only by the camaflage hunting outfits worn by fathers and sons to keep warm. Carhart-a-palooza

#8 Rextasy strikes again

Um, go Broncos?

Quote of the Day

LONGEST Trip home from Chicago ever. Winter flying is tough. Quote from the annoying girl behind us:

“Madison was voted the #1 place to live in America. You know, by that magazine that picks the number one places to live in America.”

PACK YOUR BAGS KIDS, We’re moving to Madison. Oh. My. God.